Wednesday, 21 February 2018 09:39

Making a Marriage Work

Written by  Gene Ziesel, Lighthouse Baptist Church
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Ah, the sounds of wedding bells are in the air with this month’s Wedding & Marriage Issue of River Region’s Journey! I’ve been married to my wife going on 35 years. To this day I know that, other than trusting Jesus as my Savior, it was the best decision I ever made.


If you are planning a wedding in 2018, I hope you will consider the following advice. I’m convinced that if you do, you too can have a successful marriage. Just as in real estate, the top three things you need to consider when buying a home is location, location, location. The same can be said of a successful marriage. The main three things needed are communication, communication, communication!


If you will learn this one area, I’m convinced the rest will fall into place. Communicate about your desires, both physical and spiritual. Communicate about your finances. Communicate about your aspirations…communicate, communicate, communicate!


What was it that brought men into the broken relationship with their Creator? I submit that it was lack of communication. Oh, not on God’s part, for He gave both Adam and Eve clear instructions of what not to do. First to Adam God said:


And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shall not eat of it: for in the day that the latest thereof thou shalt surely die.” Genesis 2:16-17


We know Eve understood this command, for in Genesis 3 we read, “And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.”


We know communication broke down because Eve and Adam ate from the tree. Adam then tried to put the blame on God. God asked in Genesis 3:9, “Where art thou?” Adam replied in verse 12, “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.” Communication broke down on Adam’s part by his blaming everyone else but himself.


As you can see, communication is actually key in all of life. We tend to only listen in order to respond instead of listening in order to understand. It’s the latter approach that gives you the successful marriage you’re desiring. 


Not only should you be communicating with one another, but let me quickly add you need to communicate with the Lord. You need to read God’s Word for yourself, but you should get in the habit of studying it together and communicating together to God in prayer.


At first it may seem awkward, but you must build your marriage upon the foundations of the Word of God. I would challenge you to make time out of your busy week to worship the Lord together with other believers, even some of us older ones who desire to stand by you as you build your marriage relationship together.


Before I married my wife, her father made me study Ephesians 5:25-31. I, too, made my future son-in-law do this same study and write what he’d learned. I framed his words and gave it to him as a wedding gift that he sees every day as he gets ready for work. I would suggest that any future wife study Ephesians 5:22-24. If we would understand the teaching of God’s Word for marriage, our divorce rate would not be near what it is today.


Writing this, I’ve assumed that since you are getting married, you want your marriage to last a lifetime. To make it happen, remember it is not a 50/50 proposition — 50% Husband, 50% Wife. It’s both 100%! If you’ll go into your marriage with these simple truths, you too could celebrate 35 years or more!



Last modified on Wednesday, 21 February 2018 10:01
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