Friday, 01 July 2016 07:39

Ready Made Spouse! Is There Such a Thing?

Written by  Kemi Searcy
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A few years ago I visited one of my spiritual daughters. As I sat talking with her in her bedroom, I happened to look up at her dresser mirror and noticed what seemed like a long list with bold writing.




I wondered what it was. I went to the bathroom and there it was again – the same long, bold faced list, this time framed by her bathroom mirror.  I could not help but to take a closer look at what it said. It read:




•  Man of prayer and consecration

• Man who is a tither and giving (has heart for the needy)

• Man filled with the Holy Ghost (with the evidence of tongues) and power

• Man of the word and revelation

• Man who loves to read and follow the Word

• Man after God’s own heart

• Man who is truly walking with God and who is called by God

• Man with strong conviction (of holiness and righteousness)

• Man who is trustworthy

• Man who is able to trust (not jealous or insecure)       

• Man who has the heart and mind set of a provider       

• Man who considers me and my feelings (respects and honors me)

• Man who loves me as Christ loves the


• Man who walks in humility and submits to God

• Man of integrity and character

• Man who walks in love (it covers all)

• Man who does not entertain the “strange woman” or Jezebel spirit (not flirtatious)

• Man with a higher education

• Man making 65,000K or more and strong in managing finances (sorry Lord, I gotta be specific)

• Man with no children (I mean, I waited…)                                 

• Man who is a strong leader and who has a vision for life

• Man who will be the head of the house, as God instructs and has designed

• Man who understands business and strategic planning (for business and personal life)

• Family man who loves and wants to have children

• Man who has good parenting skills (willing to pour into them)

• Man who is willing to work at the relationship, who will listen

• Man who will be supportive of the will of God for my life

• Man who stands against separation and divorce

• Man who is understanding

• Man who is willing to listen

• Man who understands “leaving and cleaving”

• Man who treats his mother well (he will treat me well)

• Man who is romantic and spontaneous

• Man who makes me laugh (has a sense of humor)

• Man who can dress and who keeps me looking well (monthly spending allowance for me sounds great!)

• Man who looks good physically


Really! Is there such a man who meets all these criteria? Is there one who is romantic, spontaneous, making six figures, smart, dots the spiritual i’s and crosses the spiritual t’s? You know with God all things are possible, but even with God the possibilities seem few and far between.


I am not saying we should not have a desired list, neither am I trying to get you to lower your expectations, but I do want you to be realistic. Pastor Creflo Dollar says that singles must ask 1000 questions during their dating process. I am in total agreement with that, but the big questions are:


• Are you still single because of your high standards? 


• Does this high expectation leave room for growth?


Not according to my spiritual daughter’s list of expectations. What she is implying is that she is perfect herself, which I doubt very much. No matter who you marry, even if it is the holiest person on Earth, you are going to have some issues to work through together. She was looking for a ready-made man. It is okay to picture the end result, but do not forget the process it takes to get there.


The good news is that the process will work if you work it.


What are the “Must” criteria?


1. Must be saved and love Jesus

2. Hardworking

3. Loves you


Ready yourself by:


1. Trusting God

2. Accept yourself for who you are

3. Find what is attractive about your features and accentuate them


Being your best in your looks as well as your outlook will expedite the process of finding that right mate.



Last modified on Friday, 01 July 2016 07:53
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