Saturday, 03 January 2015 13:04

A Side by Side Marriage

Written by  Mike and Lisa Conn
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“For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”(Genesis 2:24)


Would people describe your marriage as a “side by side” marriage or as “two ships passing in the night?”  When people think about one of you, do they think about both of you? 

During more than 20 years of teaching, Lisa and I have taken hundreds of pictures of military couples side by side attending one of our seminars.  In most cases, these couples have faced tremendous challenges during their marriages from the stress of over 13 years of war. 


Matthew Henry in An Exposition of the Old and New Testament presents a beautiful description of a biblical marriage relationship saying, “Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.”


Do you want to strengthen your side by side marriage?  If yes, here are several things you can start doing now:



1.  Take lots of side by side pictures of the two of you and display them as a constant reminder of the covenant marriage you committed to keep.  Men, put one in your wallet so you will be reminded daily of the love of your life. 



2.  In a spirit of joyful anticipation of what God is doing in your marriage, make time to pray individually and together.  “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).  If you have children, let them see and hear you praying together so they will know mom and dad are tight with the Lord and each other.  An added benefit is your example will increase the possibility your children will seek a future spouse that will pray with them.



3.  Make time to talk, date, and have fun together--just the two of you.  One of the most important lessons we teach during every Maxwell AFB Chapel Family Teams for Life program is called “Death by Tingles, Life by Love.”  Using Dr. Gary Chapman’s book and video study ofThe Five Love Languages, we help military couples learn how to avoid/resist the temptations they face due to the unique challenges of military life. 



4.  “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” (Proverbs 15:22)  Seek wise counsel from a respected, older side by side Christian couple.  During over 17 years of serving Christ through Covenant Family Ministries (CFM), we have been blessed with dozens of wonderful Christian couples praying for us and giving us wise counsel.



Why not begin 2015 with a New Year’s resolution to become a “side by side” couple?  Make your marriage a picture of oneness--not only for your own sake but for the sake of others who are coming behind you, watching you, and learning from you.  Make being married for 50-60 years a new ambition with the goal of someday leaving behind a legacy of love together--side by side.







Last modified on Saturday, 03 January 2015 13:06
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