Wednesday, 06 March 2013 14:17

The Need for Intimacy

Written by  Andy Hepburn
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What do people really need? In working with people and searching the Scriptures for the past 42 years, I’ve learned that humans are looking for something. Perhaps this something is not what you might expect.  If high priced commercials and the various forms of immorality that are made available throughout the electronic world and especially America are indicative, you might think what people are looking for is a neurotic pleasure. This is what the world is selling, but is it what we really desire?  I believe what we desire is described in Josh McDowell’s blog title, “Searching for Intimacy.”


Intimacy is a tricky word and has been applied primarily to the physical relationships that humans have with one another.  I do not believe that is the basis for intimacy as we find it in God’s Word.  God’s desire is an intimate relationship with us and we are given an innate desire to have an intimate relationship with Him, as well as in our human relationships.  When people experience various forms of chosen sin, they do so looking for intimacy.  This can lead to bad choices in relationships, and it often progresses into neurotic behavior.  If we are not careful, our mind drifts into all kinds of inappropriate behavior attempting to bring us pleasure.  The real pleasure, the real intimacy, the real “soul mate” that we are looking for is found in God becoming man. In doing so, He provides a relationship between man and Himself. That is much more intimate and fulfilling than any other relationship on the face of the earth.


In March you will be reading, searching, and researching all types of materials that have to do with what we have come to know as “Easter.”  However, I believe this should be called Resurrection Sunday as we celebrate the raising of Jesus Christ from the dead.


Before the resurrection, there is the crucifixion, and before the crucifixion there is the birth and life of the God Man, Jesus, coming to earth in order to make the payment necessary for forgiveness and deliverance from our sin.  Our nature is seeking frantically for pleasure to bring meaning, instead of looking to God to fulfill our lives with meaning and purpose through intimacy with Him.  Intimacy with God also provides us with tremendous security.


Insecurity begins with little children and their basic need for security.  My thoughts go immediately to little Ethan, who was held captive in the bunker in Midland City, Alabama, in February.  All children in their formative preschool years are searching for security that is brought about with intimacy between parents and children.  In order for that intimacy between parent and child to be significant, fulfilling and meaningful, there must also be a significant relationship that is intimate between husband and wife and God.  The type of security that comes from intimacy with God is provided for every man and woman through a personal relationship with His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.  The preschool years are the most formative years of an individual’s life and how those children are reared is important from the time that they are conceived until the time that they are set free to live on their own as young adults.


Intimacy, the close bonding relationship we are searching for, is found first in God.  Then it is shared by God through us to our spouses, and then through us to our children, and to their children, and to the generations to come.


I think we have lost our understanding and recognition for our need for intimacy.  We have chased it away with our so called dreams and visions and opportunities that have come before us by way of the media or the world’s system in many fashions. We have chosen to follow the world’s ideas rather than the biblical direction that God has given us to live the abundant life.  What we need is to be found by God, and if we are already found, what we need is to be revitalized in our intimate relationship with our wonderful and personal God.


The last day in March, we will celebrate, not “Easter,” but Resurrection Day.  Easter has a pagan, worldly holiday foundation that we have come to use as Christians to identify something that is far more important.  Resurrection day is the day when we remember God’s enabling us to establish a meaningful purposeful existence of intimacy with Him. His tremendous power has been given to us through the gift of raising His Son, Jesus Christ, from the dead.  That gift is given to all who will believe in and on Jesus as the God Man being raised from the dead.  Our relationship with Jesus gives us bonding and a connection that allows us to know purpose and significance and meaning and security for life abundant and eternal.


I have often thought of it like this...a couple of guys are in the military serving beside each other and in serving beside each other they realize their lives are dependent upon one another.  They develop an emotional bond that makes them a brotherhood and it fills them with brotherly (Philia) love.  As they fight the enemy they love each other and they have each other’s backs, protecting each other from harm, they bond together to serve our country and to live their lives with intimacy that is something far beyond any type of physical relationship.  When we as individuals have that kind of bond and even more with a loving and gracious and merciful God, we find ourselves in the middle of intimacy and in the bond of security in fulfillment of life’s greatest needs.


As we search for and find intimacy in a right relationship with God, then we can move on to an intimate relationship with our spouses, our children, and our brothers and sisters in Christ, and have a good testimony of intimacy with the people who are outside the faith.  In our search for intimacy we take many paths, but the one that is significant, purposeful, meaningful, and secure is first found in being loved by and loving Almighty God.



Andy Hepburn is pastor of Taylor Road Baptist Church, 1685 Taylor Road, in Montgomery. Visit them on Sunday or check out




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